Well I haven't posted since I shared the news that we were expecting a new baby. Well, as you probably already know, the Lord had better plans for us and I miscarried at 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant. **WARNING probably some TMI will be posted so if you don't want to read...DON'T !! **
On Thursday the 9th I started to feel cramps which is fairly normal and I had with the other 2 pregnancies so I didn't think too much into it but then by Friday night I had what I thought was a belly ache. When I went to the restroom before bed I saw a little bit of blood and got a little scared. I prayed and then went to bed. The confided in Jeremy And we prayed some more together.
When I woke up Saturday morning there was a lot more blood and I knew it was over. I was hoping for the best so I called the consulting nurse she had confirmed that I probably lost the baby but to rest and if it got worse I could come in. Well it got worse, but I knew there was no point in going in. It was too late for me. I was having a really hard time and I was SOOO thankful to have Jeremy by my side all day.
***safe to keep reading now if you didn't want the TMI * :)
The next day, Hannah ended up with a fever and was not feeling good I was still very sad. I did not blame God even though I wondered if He didn't want us to have this baby, why did I get pregnant at all?
I still wonder that but know that throughout the next few days He brought me closer to my husband, my girls, and even more importantly, to Him. I had been struggling with having patience and even prayed that the Lord Jesus would grant me the level of patience that I require of my children. It was quite a punch in the gut when I caught myself snapping at Hannah to be patient when it was the very opposite thing that I was doing.
So the verse that has been ringing in my ears for well over a month now is;
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:2-4 NKJV)
I know that God has a plan for me and that all things work together for good for those that love Him. I know that my faith, family and friends are what got me through the darkest time in my life and I know that all 3 will continue to do so.
I love my Lord Jesus, I love my wonderful husband and my family and friends who offered comforting words and hugs. I look forward to what the Lord has planned next.
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3 comments:
sweet Maranda... we love you so much and your cute little family... God just wanted that baby in heaven sooner than later... tho we may not understand his plan, like you say it all works together for good for those who love Him. CLING TO HIM! Love you... ya I know I need to toughin up, but it probably won't happen :o)
Hey sweetie. I know you're hurting, and I thank you for sharing with us. Many things in this life has happened that I wonder, what was that for? Why? And then later, I am able to use the experience in some lesson or another. But also, this little one had a SOUL, and therefore, isn't it in the care of Jesus, whom we will one day be with also? I keep thinking about the little one I lost many years ago, and have a hope to see (him) again in Heaven. I pray for healing and restoration for you. God Bless.
I'm so glad you have Jeremy and your girls to comfort you thru this time and that you are rooted in God's word and Truth! We love you Maranda... don't make me keep hugging you... cause I'll do it!!!
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